'When were you asked to make your effort?' the stewards inquired of a callow apprentice after his mount had finished full of running but unplaced in a race at Windsor one Monday. 'At Musselburgh on Saturday, ' came the innocent and retribution-inspiring reply. Such moments of candour aside, where do we draw the line between the manipulation of form and criminal ...

Kirkland Tellwright, Haydock's clerk of the course, is not paid to be a stand-up comedian, but for deadpan humour his comment last week, after a team from the BBC's Panorama programme had tried to interview Fergal Lynch at his track, takes some beating. "It doesn't look as if Panorama are putting a constructive spin on racing," Tellwright ...